SCARS ...

If anyone has observed my face properly, they might have noticed that I have a scar on my forehead right above my right eye. I have twisted the story of how it happened to anybody who cared to listen but the short version was that I fell on some concrete and I hit my head on the sharp edge of a gutter. It had to be one of the most grueling of experiences for me as I watched my own blood flow freely from my forehead. At 8 years of age, seeing that much blood was only cool for about 0.01 microseconds if that is actually possible. I was conscious through the whole scenario of being rushed to the hospital and taken to the emergency room and having the gash in my forehead sewed back together and it was so cool how the only pain I felt throughout the sewing process was a tiny itch on my forehead. I was back in school the next day going about my life like nothing happened. Only, I had teachers watching my every step just to make sure I didn’t slip and destroy another body part. I was also a hero for a few days amongst my peers because they were all scared that I was not going to make it with the amount of liquid life I lost the day I fell. No lie, when it happened, I was scared as well.

Till this day, every time I remember to notice my handsome scar, it reminds me of a dangerous injury I survived some 20 odd years ago. Things could have been different though. I had the choice of staying home for a few days to rest but my 8 year old self chose to go to school. Probably not for the learning but just because I wanted to hang out with my friends instead of staying cooped up in the house. It might not have meant much then but it only just made significant sense to me this 2013 year that is about to be over in the next few hours.

As a kid, a scar to me was just a physical marking on your body that reminds you of some injury you had in the past, but I realized later in life that scars were not just physical but also emotional. I have also realized that emotional scars take a greater toll on us than the physical and in some cases, physical scars can also double up as emotional scars and make situations even worse. Most people, if not all of us have our various scars in physical form or in the form of what life has put us through. Failures, disappointments, job losses, loss of loved ones, injuries and sicknesses among others are scars that can change the course of one’s life for the worse.

We should not let this happen. We should not allow whatever scar we have take control of our lives and let that scar dictate how we live. It is true that they can be very painful and very hard to bear and even get over but the decision we make after being hurt can decide what we remember our scars for. My decision to go back to school the next day after my injury bought me a few days of being the coolest kid in the school even among the older kids which was gold back in the day but it meant a lot to me and it kept me going no matter how much pain I was feeling physically. How you act after being emotionally scarred will determine what you remember that scar for and even though people’s opinions should not matter to you, it can also give people an idea of how strong or weak you are. And I’m pretty sure none of us want to look weak in the faces of our peers.

I wasn’t injured in 2013 thankfully, but I have quite a number of emotional scars that could have deterred me from being a sane human being, but thankfully, the year is ending, I am still here and so are all of you reading this. I used to tag scars as emotionally damaging but now I see them as mind builders. Scars will damage us but only if we allow them to. As long as we still breathe, we can choose to be weakened from scars or choose to be stronger and always remember the scars for how strong they made us. It’s up to us really.

I choose to be stronger. How about you?

HAVE A GREAT AND SUCCESSFUL 2014!!!

BIGTYME OUT!!

Bad Luck Day?

Considering how America commercializes every thing possible from Sports to Holidays, its not surprising that Friday the 13th is a day that is not spared as well. For you Horror Movie Enthusiasts, its a bonus day for you to catch your horror movies, new or old, at home or at the movies. Yup, Its the day known popularly as “Bad Luck Day” in most parts of the western world for reasons best known to whoever made that decision. Apparently, 13 was considered an unlucky number and Friday was considered an unlucky day which is very weird because it seems like The Creator upstairs gets more appreciation on this day than any other day of the week bar Sunday. It might just be superstition but I wonder to myself if it was coincidence that I had a horrible run of events starting early on Friday the 13th of December 2013. Bear with my long story because as usual, there is a very simple turning point which made everything better and ended up causing me to share this anyway, considering how I have not posted anything in a while. It also doubles up as my first short story.. Even better, Its not fiction!!!

I woke up from a bad dream first of all on Friday morning. I wont detail that, but it was the kind of dream that got me thinking I need to do better praying and going to church. I will however let you know it involved me shoving my laptop of the bed. It got scarred a bit but it survived. As cold as the weather was, I was burning hot when I woke up from the dream. I already had a combination of ailments bugging my throat and my nose from earlier in the week, so as early as 6:30 am, I couldn’t handle it anymore so I stepped out of the house to get me some medical defense and then head back home. That was the plan. I did not get back home till about 10:00 am. And this is why…

I needed an over the counter drug that was sold behind the counter because of some chemical it had in it so I actually had to see the Pharmacist. Problem was, i couldn’t find a pharmacy that was open and me being the don’t give up person I am, I kept searching for pharmacies that were open. I couldn’t find any after about 90 minutes of driving, dealing with traffic, parking, walking out of the car, asking when pharmacies opened and stuff. I finally ended up at the same pharmacy where I started off. I had thought to myself that since the answer I got from most of the other stores I went to was that the pharmacies open at 8, I might as well go back to Kroger and get my medicine and be on my way… Kroger Pharmacy didn’t open till 9. I did not find out on my first visit what time they opened.

Its past 8 and I’m disappointed at this point, so I decide to go home. I’m pulling out of the lot when this random guy yells at me. I didn’t pay him any mind as I was already pissed but he kept yelling and when I eventually decide to listen, he was just trying to tell me I had a flat tire.. Great News! I didn’t get my drugs and I now had a flat tire to fix in the beautiful 20 degree morning weather. At this point, I just sat in my car, a very frustrated human that didn’t want to change a tire and that is when it occurred to me that it was Friday the 13th and I immediately begin laughing. I’ve heard stories from even close friends having bad luck day dilemmas but I never for once thought I would be a victim and it was just funny to me. My head is also hurting at this point and I decide to do a last minute sweep of my car hoping to find a bottle of painkillers that I might have conveniently left in my car. This is where my luck changed and yes, it was for the better.

Of course I did not find any painkillers miraculously wedged under the seats in the car but I did find my gloves which funny enough I had conveniently kept in the “glove box”. They were the same gloves I had been looking for in the past 48 hrs. Figuring, I had an edge over the weather now, I decided to change my tire. Its 8:45 am, I’m still pissed off, my car is raised and I’m taking bolts of the tire and this lady probably going into the store walks up to me and sympathizes with my situation, citing that its horrible that i had to change my tire in such weather. I in turn thank her for her kind words and say to her, “I’m lucky I have gloves”

That phrase in addition to what the lady said next probably changed my whole day. She smiled and said “well. I hope the rest of your day goes way better” and she was on her way. I’m not even going to lie! It warmed my heart and at this point, I’m now feeling ungrateful that I would even think I was unlucky in the first place when there are some out there who would kill to be in my position, however bizarre that may sound. I mustered up whatever energy I had left and finished replacing my tire and got in the car to head home. I then remembered that it was now after 9 and I could get my medicine. I was already driving out before I realized it, so I had to park somewhere else as my spot had been taken. I had to show my ID for the medicine and I kid you not! I did not have my wallet on me, I’m about to freak out again but I remember how lucky I am and decide to go check the car. It was in the car. It had fallen out of my pocket somehow while I was searching for my painkillers.

I pay for my drugs and I head to my car with a smile on my face as I now had my medicine! I cant find my keys!! This, by now is round 4 or 5 of fretting but once again, I calm down and luckily, (If I may use that word) my keys were sitting on the inside of the car on the driver’s seat in a locked car. In Kevin Hart’s words, “I can not make this up!!!” I had dropped them on the seat while looking for my wallet and I never picked them up when I locked the car and went back in the store. No biggie tho. After acquiring a few tools from some friendly Kroger employees, I was able to prop my door open with no damage and be on my way home. Irony of it all, I just dropped the medicine on the counter and went straight back to sleep when I finally got to the house.

It was really an interesting morning and I’m glad I was able to learn and be reminded from my experience that myself and most of us who will end up reading this are luckier than we can imagine and no made up day can ever change that. Also, the things you do or say to someone can have any kind of impact on the person. No matter how resistant a person is, the words we utter can change the kind of day a person is having. So as creepy as it may sound, a smile every now and then would not hurt and a simple phrase such as “Have a nice day” or like this nice lady said to me, “I hope the rest of your day goes way better”, can alter the course of someone’s day for the better.

This is a BigTyme Short Story…

One Basket? Never Enough

             "Provocation Lies Ahead" ... One phrase in my blog bio that I really don't believe I have touched on since I started this digital project of mine. Why not do it today, this fine Independence day of my beloved country Nigeria. Yup, I love my country but I don't think I can say the same for my  leaders but that is another story for another day. But yeah, let me work your minds a little.

       We are all very greedy people. Either now, or we were at some point in our lives. I always include myself because I know I am or have been guilty of everything I talk about. Yeah but we are very greedy. Not greedy in a sense that we strive to do better for ourselves but greedy in a sense that we take a situation which is working pretty good for us and mess it up just because one thing goes wrong or we believe we see a better situation out there which turns out to be a mirage. I'm all for risk taking and I'm all for progress but what I dislike really is stupidity. And I use the word stupidity in the full sense of it. I have made some dumb ass decisions over people promising me "heaven and earth" and I dropped everything I was doing which was working in its own good way for me and followed them blindly and you know what? You guessed right! I got screwed over. Screwed over so bad that it threw me off and had me starting from zero in building myself.        
          I blamed them at first but I later figured out I only had myself to blame. I see the same pattern a lot these days among people I know and even those I don't and I shake my head knowing they should have known better as I should have known better. Worst part is you probably had those people who warned you against such an action but you did not listen and then you end up going back to whine to them about how you got screwed over and you expect them to be sympathetic. Me, personally? I was laughed at! I hated it but I deserved it and if you've ever been in such a situation, your stubborn greedy ass probably deserved it too!

        Well, I know better now and I will just like to throw little pieces of advice out there. Before you go making decisions that can throw you off or go believing empty promises that end up disappointing you, DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! Sometimes, its a big bother to handle but it turns out to be a big help! Also, don't abandon what ever it was that you had going for you if it was working fine. If you weigh options and you figure that you are getting more positive results than negative, don't be greedy. Stay put. Nobody ever said anything was perfect. If they did, they were either lying or drunk or were probably the people who promised heaven and earth! In a situation where there are more negatives than positives..., well, you never should have been in such a situation in the first place but still, DO YOUR RESEARCH before jumping to any conclusions. Not saying research will stop all disappointments but at least you have a softer landing if you get messed up and you can easily pick yourself up and get going again. My landing was not as soft.

     I'm pretty sure a lot of peeps will wonder to themselves what exactly it is I'm talking about? Well, throw it into any situation in your life be it work, school, business and even relationships. Sounds pretty absurd but its unfortunately true especially these days. You can disagree with me all you want but until some divine miracle happens, I am definitely never leaving all my eggs in one basket.

Never Again!

BigTyme Out!

Your Biggest Hater

I'm sure everyone is aware of the fact that everybody... Yes, every single body has haters... Whether you are successful or not or on the road to success, you will encounter haters along the way who will do any and everything to hinder you from reaching your desired goal or enjoying your success. They like to hit you with the "what ifs" and the "impossible" lines to discourage you and your determined self always has the right response for them. "I got this", "You just a hater", or this one, "Shout Out to my haters,I'm here today cuz of them". That one is a favorite of mine.

Back to my first point that says everyone has haters. I even have a few people that I hate on. They are as follows: Kobe Bryant, Justin Bieber, Sasha and Malia and others I will spare right now. Lol. Even new born babies who know nobody when they come in the world have haters but I won't go into detail... Lol. But of all these haters, there is only one that can determine if you actually progress or decline in whatever you set out to accomplish. And it lives right inside all of us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet your MINDS!! Yup, your minds. This little hater is the biggest of them all and it will not only speak to you but also try to hinder you or trigger you to act on something. Y'all know the song that starts off with "My minds telling me no!!" Yup! Kinda like that. No need for further details on a Thursday evening.

Okay in all seriousness though, its good to be positive and I know a bunch of us strive to be positive but the mind is a very strong entity that can play tricks on us. Haters will say stuff to us and we would brush it off like it was nothing but if your mind starts saying things to you like "You don't have what it takes" or "you'll never get that job", it is strange but we tend to listen to that little voice in our head and it could be dangerous sometimes as it would determine a lot of things. Confidence for one maybe dented if you let that little voice in your head discourage you and we all know how important confidence is.

But there is good news. As you have power over your haters, you also have power over that voice in your head. Many may think its corny and stupid but speaking positively to yourself goes a long way to helping you overcome the power of the mind. Not only that, speaking positively can actually switch up your mind from your biggest hater to your greatest ally!! Yup. You will be shocked that your mind will start to say things like "Maybe it is possible" or statements like "Go For It!" A lot of us may doubt this. Even as I type, I still have my doubts but some wise saying goes thus: "When You Speak Positively, You Will Begin to See Hope in Your Situations and Find Strength to Overcome" And this goes for Exams, Interviews, Weight Loss Challenges, Games, Relationships, Friendships, Sports and anything that requires you to use that mind of yours. Long story short? Stay Positive! If you cant be positive, be quiet cuz being quiet is way better than being negative cuz some people still successfully get on haters' nerves by ignoring them! But don't be quiet for too long. Speak Positively and all your haters, even the biggest one that is the mind will start to come around and cheer you on!

I still hate Kobe though.


BIGTYME OUT!!!

Sup y'all... Its been a minute since I last posted ... Ok maybe more than a minute but I'm back from what I would like to call a holiday but it wasn't though. Anyway, I'm back.

You ever have the feeling that you have worked so hard and for so long on some project that is not forthcoming with positive results that you just want to give up? Have you ever waited a while for something that never showed up that you decide to stop waiting or have you tried something which failed and required you to start from the beginning and you just quit?

All these questions can fit into m any different scenarios apart from working, waiting and trying but they all have something in common. Making people want to give up after being disappointed by the outcome of what it was they were striving for. As always, I like to get personal on my blog even though I don't go into too much detail. Yes, I have been in these situations in the past and yes, in some situations, I have given up. Some, I regretted but not for long and some just died away. Maybe they didn't carry that much importance to be regretted but I'll never know.

We see examples everyday of people who give up when the struggle becomes more than they can bear but as I always say, I dislike talking about the negatives. We also do see examples of people who continue to strive even after disappointment upon disappointment. Lebron James is an example of someone who has been disappointed so many times (and I know that some of y'all reading this got nothing but hate for him. Lol) but he continued to strive and work harder and changed things about him and finally reaped the fruits of his hard work. Another example is Jennifer Hudson. Y'all know her story. Look where she is now. Bill Gates had a failed business but did not give up and now, there is Microsoft. Oprah was once fired from her job. Steven Spielberg? Everybody knows Steven Spielberg!!! He was rejected from The University of Southern California School of Theater, Film and Television THREE times but did he give up? You tell me. Basketball stars have been entrusted to take winning shots and missed but it never stopped them from trying again. I can go on and on about important figures who have failed in more than one way but never gave up and turned out to be huge successes in their endeavors. I know I said I won't go into details about myself but this is one story that never ceases to amaze me. I was so excited about coming to study in the U.S.A only to have my dreams cut short by the almighty American embassy on Three occasions! That's correct! I got denied a student visa three times but as fate would have it, I now hold a blue document which many consider makes one a citizen of the world. I didn't give up! I always have that in the back of my mind when something goes wrong or I fail at something very important. All these examples are examples of risk takers and people who have gone so far only to be disappointed but never ashamed to try again until they got it right.

Truth is that life is all about risk taking and we all know that risks could either yield negative or positive results and most, if not all of us are always guilty of expecting positive results and when that does not happen, we get scared to try again. I ain't a preacher and as stupid as this may sound, I suggest that we create a little room for failure so we are not disappointed when it does happen and usually, those who are not afraid to fail usually garner the most success. Not everyone who is on the top of their game got there with success after success. If you look at history, most of the success stories you see are individuals who were faced with tough obstacles. I must point out that there are warning signs for some things we try to do that do not work in our favor that also suggest that is not what we are meant to do. Basically, this is where common sense comes in to help us decide if said project is of any benefit to us or not. In this case, it is not a matter of giving up but walking away from something that wouldn't help you in anyway.

Nobody likes to fail but I would just like to point out that it is okay to fail as long as you try again, failure is sometimes just the first step to success, life is all about taking risks, if you are not taking risks, then frankly, you are not living. Never ever give up on something that you truly believe in.

As long as you are not afraid to fail, you always have a chance to succeed....

BigTyme Out

Wole Oworu Culture Shock Speech

Had to cut it short on stage cuz of time but here is the full version ....Enjoy

Good evening, everyone!  My name is Wole. Some of you know me as Mr. BigTyme. I am a Nigerian who proudly represents my green, white and, green -- all day -- every day!  

I stand here today because, about a month ago, Anita reached out to me to ask if I would share a few words with you, the Culture Shock audience, based on a post on my blog (which I just started about a month ago), which I dedicated to the memory of Joseph Kessie, a very good friend of mine and to most of you.  Trust me, I have never delivered a message in public before, but when she told me that she was dedicating the entire show to Joseph’s memory, I decided to take on the challenge.

So, allow me to share a few words about Joseph, because you see, we can learn a lot from his attitude towards life, and apply such lessons to our lives, as well as to that of the entire African community.  And, please allow me to sound as African as possible -- because after all, this is Culture Shock right? And we should all always be proud of our culture!

Joseph Kessie was a positive man, and I can honestly say that I have never met a more motivated person. Our paths crossed back inside the gym at Georgia Perimeter College, where he was not just a brilliant student, but also, an active student. Joseph engaged in various clubs at GPC, and was ready to help needed. Oh, and he was a socializer, mingling with various people and making friends all over. He was a very friendly guy with so much ambition. At one point, he also had a radio show he used to host and was never afraid to talk about any issue that came to his mind. The most important thing that I noticed about Joseph was his servant spirit and his ability to inspire others to do better.

Was it school work you needed help with? Was it a ride you needed to get home? Were you hungry and didn’t have the means to get yourself food?  Joseph was always ready and willing to help meet your need. Personally, he unintentionally motivated me to study more than I was actually doing. I began to push myself to do better, partly because of his commitment to school and work, and his ability to compose himself when it came to get all done in the right way, including studying.  Did Joseph impact my life?  Yes, he did.

After Joseph passed away, I was finally inspired to launch my blog -- I had been delaying the start of this venture for some time.  Troubled and moved by the transition of Joseph, I also must thank a lot of you -- because rather directly or indirectly -- each of you has inspired me to continue to speak my mind through digital technology, and I hope my blog will continue to inspire whoever stumbles upon it.

In the spirit of Joseph, who believed in helping his fellow man, allow me to emphasize the need for all of us to grow as a community, especially in Atlanta -- we simply need to stick together. Everyone who is successful has been helped along the way at some point in their life. Lending a helping hand wherever you can, and in whatever the situation -- can go a very long way. I will be straight forward and say that a lot of communities often have internal differences, but when it’s time to come together, to make things happen, such differences have to be put aside, so that the community as a whole can move forward and continue to grow.  

You see, when a unified community grows, it attracts more positive people who are inspired and motivated to be better human beings and contributors. It is sort of like a domino effect, and I will borrow a thought from “The Golden Rule” which states that, “One should treat others as one would like to treat oneself.”  We all want to be assured that we have someone or a group of people who will come through for us whenever we are in need. This should not be mistaken for favors because then, it comes off as expecting something back from whomever, we lent a helping hand.

In closing, Joseph believed in himself and possibilities. Let us set goals and set a course for turning our dreams into reality.  It is never easy, but the end result is always sweet. Culture Shock is an excellent example of what can happen when a plan is put in action, and supported by a community of like-minded people.  Anita, I commend you and your team for putting together such an awesome event -- an event that once began as a dream -- and, look at it now; what a success it has become!  

So, remember to be the person you want others to be to you, just like Joseph was to so many. And, let’s make it all happen by backing the communities and dreams of each other. Thank you for your time, and thank you for your support of Culture Shock!

Today I Vent

I havent written anything in about 3 weeks because I personally took a vacation from everything work and just decided to have me a few weeks of leisure.

How were those days? Amazing!!! So much fun. I think I actually needed it too. Got a lot of deserved rest and had lots of time to meditate. Now I feel like I can take on the summer full throttle! I'm surprised (and humbled as a matter of fact) that some of you guys actually missed me cuz y'all reached out to me to make sure my blog wasnt dead yet. Grateful for the love. Ima stop now and jump into what's on my mind and it has probably crossed everybody's mind at some point. Oh by the way, I am kinda upset so here goes...

What is it with my African folk sef? Especially the older generation who like to exploit the concept of respect when talking to younger people. I am seriously tired of holding my tongue when such human beings do not respect themselves. Maybe my mentality changed after spending a few years in this country and what I usually saw as a normalcy in Nigeria became a nuisance in this country. Who knows, maybe a few more years in Nigeria too and my concept of it my have changed as well. But really, all the "You have no respect!" and "Am I your mate?" phrases have gone through my ears many a day in this country even as recent as 4 days ago and it took everything within me not to flip out on this obviously semi-literate (even though business smart) man who tried to play smart with me and not give me a full refund after selling me a horrible part for my poor car which has been out of service for roughly 2 months now. I would go into details but I wouldn't wanna expose my technique of handling such human beings. I will however let y'all know that I walked out .. .sorry, stormed out of his office (OK maybe I did flip out). And I left without my money unfortunately but luckily, the thoughtful Nigerian/Brazilian dude working on my car got me my money after about 24 hours as he felt bad that it was he who referred me to ol' dude in the first instance.

I know a bunch of us have experienced such people in the past and we still do every now and then and I'm usually not the one to ask such questions but what would y'all do or what do y'all do when faced with such situations? It is standard in most family homes that children are brought up to respect their elders but what happens when such elders start acting the fool on purpose and not respecting their own selves because they know they are older. It is just so annoying and instead of trying to respect such people, I lose every form of respect for them and I would let it show if I wasn't such a reserved person. I personally try to avoid them at all costs because like it or not, we run into a bunch of them every now and then.

I don't know if it can be considered Psychology. I don't know if one day, we might grow older and all of a sudden just switch to such behavior just because we are older. I seriously pray against that though because funny enough, it also happens among people of younger ages with older ones trying to command respect from younger ones. Where did they learn such from? Of course, probably their parents or that arrogant uncle or aunt who comes over to the house a lot. And of course, they grow up exhibiting the same traits as such people.

Obviously, almost nothing can be done to stop some of these old folks from behaving the way they do but I believe that as we grow older, we can choose not to adopt such traits into our systems. And by no means am I saying that young folk who try to disrespect elders should not be put in their place. I am just hoping that peeps don't go trying to be superior to someone else because they take a couple years from them. It would only make peeps look stupid.

And stupid is what the guy looked like after I stormed out of his office and had someone else get my money for me. And I really did try to be nice to the guy but he asked for it and BOY! He got a piece of my mind.

That was the highlight of my Wednesday ...

Maybe I should go run and hide sef before all the old folks start looking for me.

What Will Be ...

So my mind has not been at rest for an entire month and there is a possibility that it might go on for much longer. By no means does it mean that nothing is going the right way for me right now. As a matter of fact, a lot of things are starting to look up and I can gladly say my mind is not at rest because I am finally getting round to accomplishing a bunch of things that normally, I should have accomplished a while back.

I dream a lot! Hey! Who doesn't. I also make a lot of plans. I guess a lot of people do that as well. But in the past, the plans I made never got past my brain and never even made it to a piece of paper. Truth is I basically had a mentality that things would just happen even if I did nothing. I have since graded myself "F for Foolish" for ever thinking that stuff would just happen without me making an effort.

There is nothing wrong with being carefree but when it comes to certain issues that concern your future, that carefree attitude has to be put in check. A lot of us are familiar with the phrase "What will be, will be" and honestly, that is how I was living life. Again nothing is wrong with that but in my case, "abuse" is an understatement for the way I treated that phrase. If the slightest problem arose whenever I was trying to get stuff done, I would just turn off and of course my response was "What will be, will be". I intended on starting this year on a better note but that never worked out, thanks to that phrase. I literally applied it to every damn phase of life I could think about and stuff was not getting better and yet I said "What will be, will be"

One thing I can say that I always did and still do was have a quiet moment when I think about stuff and life generally and it just so happened that some voice in my head redesigned the phrase and actually got me doing a bit of pondering. The phrase went something like this "What should be, isn't happening". And I wondered  to myself why things were not happening. I tried so hard not to blame myself for all that should have been but weren't but of course I soon came to the conclusion that it was denial and I was only deceiving myself.

It was all it took. I realized that my number one problem was me and my attitude towards accomplishing tasks was diminished. Why? I would never know and I do not ever want to spend time trying to find out. All I know is that as true as the phrase "What will be, will be" might sound, it shall no longer have any command over how I run affairs of my life. I had a spectacular April and I realized that attacking issues with a positive mind and a positive attitude yields positive results. I never even attacked such issues with a negative attitude. I just allowed whatever it was to envelope me and keep me down. I allowed it! Well, never again. The voice in my head that tweaked the phrase a little and got me thinking and getting down to business was very well needed and I am optimistic that May will even be more spectacular than April.

Everybody goes through tough times and it is really up to you to either let the tough times take charge of your life or you toughen up and handle the tough times. You might even get knocked down in the process but every event that does not go according to plan is a learning experience and it will only make you wiser for another time. And it is important to get back up as quickly as possible and keep pushing. I seriously want to stress that for all of us, whatever is gonna happen will happen but we have the power to change our destinies for the better.

It took me a while but I have finally learnt that. This was a real experience and I just thought to share

BigTyme Out!

A Sense of Community

My drive to work always takes me past the Jewish Community Center in Dunwoody. Most of my Atlanta peeps know where that is. For the rest of my folks not in Atlanta or the United States, imagine Ikoyi Club or any recreation facility in your zone in this world and picture it in Atlanta. Now that we have that out of the way, this community center is huge and it runs for about five or more blocks.

I have never been on the inside (maybe because I ain't a Jew) but I could guess they have just about everything that a recreation center should have and more. I'm talking about basketball courts, tennis courts, a pool, a volley ball area, a playground and I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say they also have a soccer field. Heck, the space they have is big enough for such! And that is just what is on the exterior of this huge community center. I can bet you they probably have a bunch of halls, a tech area and maybe even a work out area in the various buildings that this huge center contains.

Even though I have seen nothing of the sort from other Nationalities in this country, I do notice that most of the businesses in some areas cater to a certain group of people usually of the same ethnic background. But most of the time when I drive past this community center, I wonder to myself why the like can not happen among Nigerians or even Africans in general. And I always have the same answers in my head.

"Maybe I am not looking hard enough"

"Maybe nobody has time to do such"

"Maybe nobody wants to commit to such a project"

These and many other thoughts bounce back and forth in my big head every single time I drive by the center and even sometimes when I have some thinking time to myself at whatever location I might be at. But one of these thoughts always stands out above the others and as I usually say, it just my opinion

"Maybe there isn't a strong sense of community among the Africans in the state."

This is the one that always lingers in my head and it might not be totally true and there definitely is a sense of community among some and I commend them whoever they are. In my opinion though, i feel it is not strong enough and by strong, I mean the size of such communities are not large. Take the Jewish folk for example. I have never seen a community with so many people sticking together and helping each other out. They literally do almost everything as a community and they hardly fail at it. I am pretty sure that such a community can produce individuals who come out and run for office in the state and later come back and give to their community after winning whatever election they ran for. Also, such a community center could not have been built if they just had different communities. It was built by one big community that believed in each other.

I am confident that among us African youth, we have leaders among us but sometimes, such potential can not be discovered if there isn't a strong community to grow in. I am never the one to bring up negative events but in the case that one of ours finds themselves in a bind beyond their power and control, a present community should be able to come through for such a person in any way to brighten up spirits and give encouragement.

A community is not easy to build and such things take time but every great thing has to start somewhere. I believe that the African youth in this state or wherever you are for that matter can work together. Its no secret that there is always some kinda beef going around or some typa drama happening every now and then but I believe that if stuff needs to get done, all differences can be set aside to achieve greatness. It is possible but it has to start with you, me, all of us.

I see this country as a place that lots of Africans will continue to come to for various reasons (Education being the most important) and with an instrument like a strong community, they do not only stand a chance at surviving in the country but also excelling in whatever they set their minds to.

I am sure each and everyone of us has been helped in some way and there is no better way to show appreciation than to help someone else. Not saying that there isn't a community anyway but there has to be a community for all the right reasons. It could even be fun in the process.

I talk too much...

Here's hoping that sometime soon in the future, the African Community in Atlanta will be recognized for the good acts that they perform.

BigTyme Out!!

"Crippled"

Over here just chilling on the Marta train, thinking about when the hell I'm gonna get my car back... Its going on 2 months since my cousin showed up from DC, worked his magic on my car and left for DC under 72 hrs leaving me with my feet to get around... (And to think I was just about to sell it and get another... Just my luck)

It sucks not having a car considering where I live... (A little town called Loganville). I really dont have a problem taking public transport anyway, I was a pro at it back in Nigeria where u had to perform a Spartakus act to get on the buses. (I'm sure a lot of u remember . I even parked my car on somedays just so I could explore public transportation in this city of Atlanta when I still had a job downtown.

Problem now is this city I live in has NO PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. It is one of the cities in Georgia where the saying "you are crippled if you dont have a car" holds true. Apparently, Gwinnett in addition to some other counties refused to join in the Marta program years ago. Yup! They decided together to screw up an immigrant that loved public transportation, who would come to their country lots of years later to live in Gwinnett and one day not have his car. Yup, they screwed me up.

Their excuse was bringing transport to our counties will increase the crime rate. I wonder how thats working for them these days... The same counties now have their own transport systems today that have found one way or the other to "connect" with Marta so people can get around...

Unfortunately, their transport systems do not cover everywhere and my doorstep is one of the uncovered places so for almost two months, I have been crippled.

But I really have had excellent crutches to get me around and I'm lucky I have mord than thd max two crutches that every person who has injuries that hinder them from walking usually have. By crutches, I mean friends. Friends who have been there for me in the past two months. Their kindness in form of rides, letting me use their cars or even letting me chill at their abodes, impeding their own comforts and all other acts mean so much to me. I cant start to name all of you but you all know yourselves and I thank you all and I pray that BIG GUY upstairs will bless you all and grant you all your pure hearts desires and continue to meet you all at your points of need.

Amen.

I'm sitting on a train right now cuz one of you guys dropped me here, I have almost exhausted my data plan,for the month, otherwise I would be on twitter rambling away.... I could actually text to tweet from my phone but what's the fun in that? I dont even get to tweet watch!!! That will change though, when I get to my wireless destination. One would think Marta buses and trains would be hotspots by now.... But oh well.

You gotta love Marta though. U never know what u r gonna get. Somedays, its comedy and on some others, its drama, sometimes its stories and on some others, its just the sexy view that might be standing right across from you on the train... (I aint no stalker though.. Haha). Today, it just happened to be knowledge from an older lady who I can bet has been riding Marta since before my fetal self had dreams of Coming to America. I'll probably tweet about her later.... Maybe. They even still got a Rozay Reebok commercial still running on their miniscreens...

Did I mention that we have fine weather outside???

Repairs have finally begun on my car and I should be fully healed this weekend. Its been a trying couple months but still, I stay THANKFUL .... I think my "turn up meter" also got a refill so u might just catch me out there somewhere this weekend...

Well, about to get off this train to get on this bus to get to work and do it all over again when I get off unless I can persuade one of my "crutches" to come through for me again....

This has been a random rant by MrBigTyme

I'm out!!!

Driving Force....

Nobody wants to be a failure. Not that I know of at least. Yup! Every damn person wants to be successful. Truth about that is we all run into various obstacles along the way and none of y'all can lie that one of the most repetitive phrases that goes through the head is "Is it really worth it?'

Is it worth it to go on and keep getting disappointed, keep getting betrayed, keep getting laughed at and in some cases, keep getting walked over because of something you believe in?

Well, your answer is right there in your question... Something You Believe In (Unless of course its a lie).
The simple fact that you believe in something, whether physical or abstract should be enough reason to keep you driving forward.

Now personally, I have had my share of set backs and failures and I know that as Life goes on, more disappointments are bound to pop up and surprise me any friggin' time that they feel like.. (Yeah, I am always surprised when it happens, you would think  I should expect the worst sometimes). These things happen and draw me down at the worst for a couple days thanks to my "Happy Levels" (Please see my  "Staying Happy" Post) but do I give up because of such failures? Hell No I don't!!! And NOBODY should give up. Giving up should not even be an option because of the BELIEF that we have in achieving what it is we are striving for. There are many factors that motivate us to continue pushing forward but most important is that you BELIEVE even in those factors which are in no particular order ...

The BELIEF that people before you have done it,

The BELIEF that you can do it;

The BELIEF in the suffering that you have witnessed and in some cases, experienced;

The BELIEF that you never want to suffer such again;

The BELIEF that you want to have a great future;

The BELIEF that you will have that great future;

The BELIEF that you do not want your future generation to suffer;

The BELIEF that your Folks didn't raise no loser;

The BELIEF in that sexy car that you want to purchase and push to the limit;

The BELIEF in that nice house you want to throw posh parties in;

The BELIEF in the vacations that you want to take your family on;

The BELIEF in one day meeting important people because of your success and the impact of your success (Hey! It just means you are important too!);

The BELIEF in the BELIEF of the people that strive for you;

The BELIEF in the people that inspire you;

The BELIEF in the people you inspire;

The BELIEF in your failure in the sense that it is real and can happen;

The BELIEF that you do not want such a failure to happen again;

The BELIEF in the world someday being a better place because of an impact that you made;

The BELIEF that "Any weapon manufactured specifically for you shall malfunction";

And most importantly,

The BELIEF that BIG GUY upstairs has a plan for every single one of us and that his plans shall come to pass...

I'm just gonna go ahead and confess that these are factors specifically tailored to me and I know you know that we all know there are various factors that  inspire different people but that BELIEF in these factors should always be your Driving Force ...

BELIEVE THAT!!!

BigTyme Out!!!

Staying Happy....

I never got the opportunity to do this so before I jump into what's really on my mind, I just want to let my readers know that I appreciate all the different forms, sources, sizes and even shapes of inspiration I got after I started this blog. I ain't no professional blogger but I will try my best to keep this blog alive, whether my thoughts are inspiring, random, sad, happy, provocative, funny or even boring!!! That's right! Sometimes, I could be interestingly boring!!! 

How would you describe your happy self? Accomplished? Satisfied? Wealthy? Healthy? Or any other term that puts a smile on your face? Cool! I honestly do not see anything wrong with these terms but my question really is that do these things make you happy and then you stay happy or do you experience what I like to call "One Time Happiness"??? Sometimes, what actually makes you happy at a certain point in time can not continue to keep you happy unfortunately.

Don't get me wrong now, I believe one can stay happy after attaining a certain level of success but its a crazy world we live in and there are always factors lurking around the corner to try and steal your happiness from you. Now, I won't go all out and say I am the happiest person on earth, I definitely am not accomplished yet and I also won't say I don't get stressed out but I can say I have my ways of getting around negative factors to maintain my current level of happy.

I like being happy!!! Being happy is a wonderful feeling and you should never let anyone take that from you. I feel like I wanna make others happy especially when I am experiencing high levels of happiness. (Yes, I am of the opinion that happiness has its levels and quantities although there is that happiness that can't be quantified and I strive to reach that one day but for now, I keep striving)

I feel good today. I was feeling good this morning but I am feeling even better this afternoon and I credit that to a post sent to me by a good friend of mine ... scratch that.... a best friend of mine. And I must say that it is what inspired my post today and since I am feeling real good, I would like to share some tips on how I personally handle the armies of negativity when they come attacking at my doorstep. I would try to be as general as possible cuz I'm pretty sure what works for me might be different for others. Here goes ....

Notice how I tend to stay away from using the word "sad" to describe feelings cuz I feel like even the saddest people, have a tiny ounce of happiness in them and once that is discovered and tapped into, they can become glowing sources of happiness. 

Water: Ah Yes! Liquid of Life. Had to give this one priority. It never fails to calm me down when I feel overwhelmed by an event. Especially when its a chilled glass too... Trust me, it works wonders... Although some friends of mine would disagree with me and say another form of liquid solves all problems. I would agree with them maybe on a Friday or Saturday night ... 

Stay Thankful: Whatever it is that happens in your life that tries to hinder your happiness, always remember that it could always have been worse so always accept the situation IF it can't be changed and be thankful. I like to think being thankful is a step in the right direction at actually tackling whatever entity it is that is trying to draw you down. One could also say it encourages you to not want to get to that "worse" stage that it could have been.

Get Busy!!!: Yup! And you can take this in any context that you want to!!! Haha! Okay seriously though, engage yourself in some activity that takes your mind off things... Take a walk, watch a movie, sing, play an instrument (i love my piano), play a game, read a book, workout ... just engage your senses and you'd be surprised that even though you might still be bothered by a situation, you aren't bothered as much and as usual, it can also help in making you think clearly in your quest to battle the challenge.

Do NOT pass the  buck: Never blame your situation on the actions of someone else. Never. Trust me! It will only go downward from there....  Trying to justify the source of whatever challenge you are facing is a step in the wrong direction and in such situations, your level of happiness starts to diminish. Try tackling a challenge head on especially when interacting with others. You will arrive at solutions faster and that way, everyone remains happy. The same also goes for everyone tackling individual challenges, don't go back looking for the cause but go forward looking for a solution. I am going to go ahead and add here that you should not also dwell on a challenge too much. It is an ultimate solution to keeping your happy levels low. Don't dwell on the situation.

Talk to Someone: Don't bottle it all up inside. Let someone know what's going on. Let off some steam... Yell if you have to. Just Vent. It takes a little pressure off you...

and Last but definitely very Vital

Pray: I don't think I need to elaborate any further on prayer and its power.

As usual, I will always throw it out there that these are the things that work for me. With a little tweaking here and there, I believe it could also work for someone else. Life is always gonna throw stuff at us, and not on purpose either.... Or maybe it is on purpose because it is a means to test us all and see how we stand in the face of trials and tribulations with the sole goal of making us stronger. Do well on the test and you get stronger and ready to face another test and if you don't do well .... Well, keep trying cuz there are always gonna be obstacles and stumbling blocks and there really is no turning back...

I hope we all achieve our desired levels of happy and continue to rise from there ...

BigTyme Out...

What's Life

Shout out to the homie Jason for coming up with this... Joseph... U will be missed

Can somebody tell me what's Life
Can somebody tell me What's wrong
Can somebody tell me what's right
I'll have to put it in a Poem

We did not lose a friend
We lost a brother
Spread the Love Avoid the Drama
Thank the Lord shout Hosana

The hardest thing in life is being simple
We had our laughs, smiled with dimples
You always were brethren
Your soul in heaven

We may know our today
We don't know about tomorrow
I don't know what to say
My Heart is heavy with Sorrow

                            By Mr. Armani

R.I.P Joseph Jayman Kwasi!!!

It is very sad that I am finally starting this blog (which I promised myself I would start only a few years back) because of an incident that happened today that cost the life of a friend who I can call a brother.
It is also a good thing because I can take an example from his life and start applying it to mine.

If there is one thing Kwasi (he hates that name) did well. It was "Living". I know a lot of brilliant folk who do well in school and stay in their books and remain in their books but not Joseph... Homeboy was naturally brilliant and I'm pretty sure he studied and all that good stuff but it the short while I hung with him, it was never a dull moment.

Now apart from being a smart dude, homie also had DREAMS.... Dreams that he had already started to accomplish. Besides going to school to become successful, he also rapped. In the 2 years I spent living in Marietta, I had a chance to listen to a few tracks of his and I can stand up for him in front of anyone and brag that "we got one on our team and he is gonna be a great". He also had a radio show at one time which I was privileged to be a guest at one point.

It is so sad and scary and I am picking up the little courage I have left to write this but I want to use this medium to address a few things concerning me and anyone who reads this especially the notoriously popular group that we all fall under in Atlanta, GA as a default by region. Of course, I am talking about the African Atlanta Community. (AAC).

Like I said earlier, I have been starting this blog for a long time now and it is one of my many dreams that just happened but never had a follow through. I have many dreams that I would love to accomplish and what has happened today is a reminder that "Life is Short" and you should make the most of it while you are still here.

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS PEOPLE!!!! AND BE REMEMBERED FOR SOMETHING GOOD!!!!

I had to do that because that is exactly how i feel right now. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Wherever you end up in your endeavors, you will have the satisfaction that you at least followed your dreams and your heart.

The other thing I would like to really stress also is that Life is too short for us to be beefing, squabbling, fighting and partaking in all kinds of negative activities that do nothing but take away from us. I am no saint in this department but we all gotta start somewhere. I have been on twitter for about 3 years now and I have seen some good things manifest among my Africans in this city of Atlanta which is great and I encourage positive peeps to stay positive and keep doing what it is they do so well. Y'all inspire me!! But then on the other hand the negativity on Twitter alone overshadows most of the good things that happen on Twitter. Most of y'all might not like this but this has been on my mind for a while and I just had to find a way to pour out the emotion that I am feeling right now. I stand corrected but for as long as I have been on twitter and followed stories about the AAC, there have been more negative things happening on the social network than positive things and I will not go into details about that. What I can say is that because of this negativity, a lot of us (myself included) disassociated ourselves from the group claiming we have nothing to do with it but in reality, we are Africans and we do live in Atlanta right??? Oh by the way, this is just what happens on twitter. The events of the real world situations also have a part to play in this situation but I digress...

The point I am trying to make is that AFRICA is a strong continent and sooner or later, every single one of us youth will have some type of impact that would either make the continent stronger or weaker. That choice is ours and we can choose to either remain negative, stagnant or positive.

You really want to have an AAC?

Start acting like brothers and sisters and helping each other out when any one of ours is in need.

Start reaching out to our younger Africans in the city of Atlanta and lend a hand to help them become successful like some of you already are and all of us will be someday hopefully.

Come together as an actual community and raise awareness in issues that really matter and have a positive impact on the city of Atlanta as Africans.

If things like this actually happened, then maybe a lot of people would start taking the AAC seriously and it could actually become something big that we can all be proud of.

This has been on my mind for a while and some of my close friends can attest to the way I feel about
issues of the African Atlanta youth.

Life is too short!!!! I can't stress this enough

Follow and Live your Dreams!!!

R.I.P to a boss who I have no doubt in my mind followed his dreams!!!!

R.I.P Joseph Jayman Kessie!!!

God Bless Us All!!!

BigTyme Out ....